“WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “FOR GOD’S SAKE – YOU COULD HAVE PUT YOUR HEAD THROUGH THAT GLASS!!!” I’m getting into my stride now and the shouting feels cathartic as I continue to berate my eldest child who has just fallen over, narrowly missing a glass cabinet in…
This WOMAN didn’t realise she couldn’t: the problem with #ThisGirlCan
Something has been bothering me about the ‘This Girl Can‘ campaign but I’ve been struggling to put my finger on it. At first I thought it was because of the infantilising language coming from a campaign that’s supposed to be empowering women rather than making them feel like little children – but after a trip…
Schrodinger’s Sexual Predator
So the recent furore over the seemingly surprising revelations that Donald Trump is a sexual predator (despite him already having a pending hearing about the small matter of the rape of a 13 year old girl) has highlighted a massive problem with the way the world thinks about sexual assault. Feminists have been talking about…
9 Signs you may be living with childhood trauma – and what you can do about it
After I left home at 18, it took me a while to figure out that I was damaged. I had assumed my upbringing was normal and had no idea that I had spent years being traumatised by the violence and abuse I suffered at the hands of my father (which you can read more about…
“You throw like a girl” A brief guide to gender policing
This morning I changed a wheel on my car for the first time in my life. I felt ridiculously proud of myself for completing such a simple task. Then I climbed out of our bathroom window onto a roof and cleared up some broken glass that’s been there since the storm smashed one of our…
Keep your politics out of our pants: why every woman has a right to choose
The fear of getting pregnant has been an almost constant feature of my life since I became sexually active as a teenager. Hormonal contraception has never agreed with me so I’ve always been at the mercy of condoms. The brief period in my 30s when I was actively trying to conceive my children was a…
“Why doesn’t she just leave?” 5 subtle ways women are blamed for experiencing domestic abuse
Having worked with survivors of domestic abuse for many years, I am still shocked at the way in which society continues to blame women for the violence and abuse they suffer at the hands of men. This tendency to minimise or justify male violence by attempting to place the blame on the victim is particularly…
An Open Letter to My Father
You don’t know this but I still have nightmares about you. Whisked back unwillingly to a time when I was small and you were big and strong and powerful. I wake up bathed in a cold sweat, relieved at finding myself in my own bed in my own house. The man who changed everything lying by…
Girls in crisis – patriarchy and mental illness
This week Kate Middleton has been in the news after becoming guest editor at the Huffington Post as part of their new campaign Young Minds Matter to raise awareness of the importance of children’s emotional and psychological wellbeing in the UK. Whilst celebrity endorsements of causes close to my heart are always welcomed, her post fails to mention…
We need to talk about wanking
Recently a good friend of mine told me a story about how as a fresh-faced young student she had been asked by a new acquaintance whether she masturbated. She was the last in a group of other young women who had all shaken their heads and ‘Eughhed’ because it was ‘gross’ and she duly went…
A Mother’s Guilt
Becoming a mother is a bit like being hit in the face by an emotional sledgehammer. Despite having been in labour for 27 hours, I was so excited by the birth of my first baby that I could not sleep all night. I had never felt higher before in my life. It was as if…
The Women Outside the Box
I have always been the kind of woman that does the kind of things that women are not supposed to do. Bored to death by the stifling domesticity of Brownies (they had badges which basically involved making a cup of tea for fuck’s sake), I refused to join the Guides and opted for the Air…
Woman As Subject 